Is it impossible for a man to give gifts without wanting anything in return?

I attended a meeting that finished late few nights ago. It was a wet, windy and cold night. I ran straight into the red Mercedes Benz to warmth. For a second, I remembered that this car is a gift from a woman! And she wanted nothing in return for it. Then I remembered the Mitsubishi I had been given in 2009. A gift from a man! He wanted nothing in return for it. Then I remembered the Ford Escort I was given in 2000. That also was a gift. As I sat still for those few seconds, I remembered the gift of a Ford Granada, given to me in 2002, by a man who also asked for nothing. I later gave that car to a lady, and wanted nothing from her. As I drove off, I began to wonder.

I wondered about all those people who say that it is impossible for a man to give gifts without wanting anything in return. Surely, if they think that men give gifts because they want sex, they must also think that women who give gifts to other women must be lesbians. Why must gifts be attached to sex or sexuality? I wondered what they would say when they hear that a lady gave this kind of gift. Will they now think she is a lesbian? What kind of sick thinking is that? Since when did giving (and accepting) gifts become such a lewd, sexually motivated activity? As I drove, I remembered the gifts of air tickets, money, clothes, food shopping, cars, kind words, information, ideas, time, encouragement, advice, training, coaching, mentoring, etc, that I had been privileged to give. I know I definitely am not a lesbian, or sexually attracted to every man. I remembered all the gifts I had received as well from women and men. The same kinds of things I have never been worried about giving to others. The Bible says "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that you measure, it shall be measured back to you". [Luke 6:38]. “Give”, it says, and men (and women) shall give back to you in good measure. When you are a giver, it is obvious that people will be willing to give you gifts. Receiving a gift in good faith is as pleasant for the receiver, as it is pleasant for the giver.

 Gifts are neither solicited nor expected. Most come as surprises and are usually willingly given for something a person may have given, done, or said which made a difference in the life of the giver. Why would anyone attach vile thoughts to such a pleasant activity? Why would anyone want to spoil the happiness expressed when a gift is offered? The bible gave an answer: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. He is not the man/woman his mouth speaks or declares him to be; what his heart thinks which is discovered by his looks and actions, and by which he is to be judged (not by his words);  Eat and drink, he says to you, but his heart is not with you; he asks you to eat and drink, but he does not desire that you should, or at least eat very sparingly; it is only a mere compliment, not a hearty welcome”. [Proverbs 23:7]. 

Good people have a nature to give good things because that is who they are. Evil people are wicked, conniving, murdering backstabbers, unfriendly friends and friendly enemies who produce pure darkness because that is who they really are. “A good man out of the good treasure of his/her heart brings forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure in his heart, brings forth evil things.” [Matthew 12:35]. One translation says “Good people do the good things that are in them. But evil people do the evil things that are in them". Luke puts it this way, “A good man brings much good from the treasure of his good heart; and an evil man brings that which is evil out of the evil treasure of his evil heart: BECAUSE, from the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” [Luke 6:45]. One translation says “Good people do the good that is in them. But evil people do the evil that is in them. The things people say come from inside them”. Evil minded people are silly, little minded, caustic people, who think evil, do evil and speak evil things about others. You can’t give what you don’t have. If you see yourself in this picture, then this is about you. No apologies.

To whom much is given, much is expected. Givers must expect to receive, because those who sow expect a harvest. Those who sow, reap. If you sow nothing you reap nothing. But, you always reap. You reap something, or you reap nothing. In reality, everyone sows either good or evil. When someone gives you a gift, gladly accept with thanks, without attaching any sexual connotation, unless sex is expressed or implied. Even so, it is still your choice to accept or refuse the gift. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Make the gift feel worth every penny spent. I am thankful for all those who have felt me worthy of their gifts. Those who say it is impossible to give gifts without having ulterior motives are really sick people. A gift is a good thing, whether it comes from a man or from a woman. Thank you for overlooking my imperfections and overlooking the reports of evil minded people. Those who say there are no angels have not met you yet. My name translates "Surrounded by Treasures"... You are some of the most Wonderful Treasures that surround me.

Thank you for your kindness and for all your gifts.

PrincessOlayinka DixonOludaiye

Friday 18 January 2013